Life of a Martian On Planet Earth

Goodbye, for real.

2011-11-19T23:34:00.003+08:00

I have not been updating religiously but I am thankful for whoever is still coming constantly back to this little space, whether is it spam (LOL) or geniunly looking for updates, I thank you. Other than myself clicking the ads furiously (LOLOLOL), it is because of you (s) that I am able to reach SGD$50 for nuffnang ads and had successfully managed to cash out just yesterday :'). I believe those reading this space will know that I am managing this little space here because of the ads, and forever pushing to close this little space now because of the memories and for the half-accumulated $...but now that I had successfully reached my aim, it is time to say goodbye.

I will locked up this space (AFTER ONE MONTH FROM THIS POST AS A FORM OF NOTIFICATION) and well, perhaps start over in another new space. Seeyou all around!

PS: Please do my school survey here! I am feeling particularly emotional over the lack of response.

Till then, goodbye and stay safe everyone! Thanks for reading for so long :')

Online Shopping Guide

2011-08-08T10:33:00.007+08:00

Hello all, decided to share my tips on online shopping because I believe a lot of girls would be clenching their fists when they failed to get items from popular blogshops despite commenting at launch time! *Disclaimer: All these are just steps/tips that I myself use/ saw online and gotten the items so it is up to you girls to try! heh ;)

Before launch:

Check out the shop's Terms & Conditions. Make sure you are sure of the postage charges and ordering format (if any).
Formspring the owner (if they have!). If you are worried about measurements and have no time to look through, I believe most owners will update the measurements to you if they have/can remember! FS is good for checking out prices/which size is a better fit etc etc.
Sync the clock! For eg, if a launch is at 9pm & you commented & you didn't manage to get the item, it might be that the owner's clock is already 9 when yours is 8.58pm! Since everyone's clock is different, I suggest you to refresh the page when your clock is about 8.57pm. Check out when the page is updated and from every collection, you will roughly know when to check out the update ;)

Launch time!

*jiang jiang* the-fastest-fingers-game. The following step is very important (at least to me!) so here we go! Normally in a lj update, we clicked on the lj cut to view the collection. Did you realized after you scroll through the collection, you will click "Leave a comment" to comment for the items and the page reloads again? For me, I will usually click "Leave a comment" straight away, scroll through the collection and comment! Faster? Easier for people with laggy coms (so you won't have to wait for the pictures to load again!) ;) Hope the following pictures explains better if you don't understand!

"Click Leave a comment straight away!"

2. If there is an ordering format (homework before the launch!), do order in that format although most owners will accept your order if they understand the items you want! Heard people saying about creating ordering templates, not sure how efficient those templates are but I reckon you girls can create one too if you feel your fingers are not fast enough! ;)

3. For shopping websites with carts, I would normally go to the main page and click what I want to open on another tab, scrolled through and click add to cart. This way, you don't need to go back and search for the item again :)

4. Saw on Hollyhoque's formspring, on Firefox and Chrome, when you entered your details once it will saved your details so the next time you just hit the first letter, for eg, A for Angela under name, it will pop out the second time so you don't have to retype! Tried and it works, yay for seconds-savings tips ;)

For eg,

5. If you are late by 5mins, you can always leave your name for you will be recorded in the waiting list & who knows, for one deadbuyer & you might be the lucky next buyer.

A little lengthy entry but I hope you girls can get the items you want from online shopping after reading! Feel free to leave tips behind to share too! :D

Happy Easter!

2011-04-24T22:12:00.003+08:00

hello all of you bunnies, how did your Easter went? :)

Just caught the Star Awards 2011 and whoo, uber glad that Ruien won! I almost teared when her name was announced, as I felt that for the awards it is always popularity > talent. This year, so many talented artistes are recognized! heh.

went out with @yeetinng last friday to town to randomly catch a movie. & yes, when I say randomly, it meant queuing up and deciding what to watch during queuing. & to realized red means sold out and we can only catch the 9+ shows and not even Justin Bieber 's Never say Never is available for us at 7 plus. ha! then we headed to Cuppage for her dinner + kill time (pls remind me to go back there for the curry, smells soooo good!) and then randomly to Topshop where they are having a 3 days Easter sale for the 40% off for 2nd (lower value) piece! Omggg why do good bargains pop up randomly whenever I headed out with her? Then it is to Love & Other Impossible Pursuits! A rather slow movie about Love & Realization, if you have the time, catch it with your lover/friends. Now that I remembered, a walk of remembrance soon, @yeetinng? love going out with my crazy friend, I guess it is rly nice to have someone rly going all out crazy with you, maybe because she is as crazy as well? ha =P

alright, after all those hype about Star Awards on Twitter and all, I am getting tired. Work tmr & updates soon!

PS: Blog background credits from here & here :)

2011-04-13T20:47:00.000+08:00

till the day I become the zen master I want to be,

TEMPORARILY MOVED.

WORD

2011-03-24T11:30:00.008+08:00

Letting go

And you know what, even if you lost something, it’s really okay :) Let’s all begin to wish the best for the people we lost.
I think it’s way easier and much much much more gracious than holding on to anger, bitterness and unforgiveness. Agree?
Moreover, when you’re angry you start saying stupid things about the people who let you down. And from personal experience, there is almost no point in saying hurtful things, besides embarassament for yourself. I’m sure each and everyone of us has been hurt by one way or other by the things people say/write about us. And why would you want this to happen to anyone you love?

If you have nothing good to say, don’t say it.

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. - Proverbs 18:21

(via myspringfling) x (via tlijie)

took this from jieli's blog and let's just say I have been practicing to keep my mouth shut ever since 2011 started. It doesn't matter whether people humiliate me / misunderstands me...because I don't want to become someone who say hurtful things when I am upset no more #becauseIamzenlikethat *peace sign*

anyway it had been long since I blogged. How can I expect people to come to this space and help me increase my Nuffnang moolah? I have plans this Apr, so kept coming back okay? I also have tons of thoughts + long overdue visuals to share! so expect a virtual vomit soon people!

Stay Safe Japan

2011-03-11T17:29:00.004+08:00

News of the Japan's earthquake/tsunami flooded in my twitter timeline about 1 hr ago(?) and I even watched a live update about the tsunami which captures the 10mentres waves crashing onto shore and water rushing through everywhere? Had you played before domino? One push and all the other tiles came flopping down, one after another. One wave, and everything vanished underneath that huge mass of water in that one second. It was a magnificent view (seen from an above camera's angle) but I felt so sick as I watched the tip white foam of the tsunami crashing into the beige portion that is shores of Japan.

After that first tsunami in Asia, I had always tried to imagine a wave that is so high, coming in to me at an incredible speed. I failed. I couldn't imagine it and upon seeing the live update video just now, seeing the 10metres waves from faraway, I gulped. If I was standing in front and spotted that, would I have time to shout? or run? before I just got swiped away?

Mother Nature's powers is greater than any other technology, this I believe. We had made use of Mother Nature in some way, and technology enable us to prevent disasters (or challenges that Mother Nature sent) but still... so much damage is done. All in an instant. Buildings, landmarks, memories built over so many decades gone just like that.

I have never been to Japan but have always heard how pretty Japan is, the streets, the cultures, all the fantasy about Toyko Disneyland...and now Disneyland is flooded. Previously when Bangkok Platinum Mall was bombed, I felt devastated. Places which I had never been before, had been destroyed and rebuilt...It is a pity that I never get to see the original (if you get what I mean)...

Japan is currently anticipating a second earthquake in half an hour's time.

Stay safe please Japan, stay safe.

散場的擁抱

2011-02-21T18:01:00.005+08:00

If anyone were to ask whether I am ok now, my answer is a "no".

losing focus in work, losing focus in my love life. who can & will ensure a loner the security she needs? self issues...is a lot harder to get over it when it is your problem, you know?

I tried to convince myself it is rly two good friends taking pictures together, but it still feel uncomfortable, it felt that why why is it always them, just them together, so close?

I will take M's one week outfield to think - to go back to being a loner or to be subjected to be affected by all these little things again & again(because there is no ways of compromising sadly).

& yes the above 2 options just proved that I am selfish, very very selfish.

let's hope I revert with good news (of us still together) soon.

七格隆咚呛咚呛

2011-02-06T23:04:00.008+08:00

carried a cheena bun on my head on the second day of CNY.

can't believe it is over already! :<

CNYYY

2011-02-02T20:46:00.002+08:00

Helloz! Tmr is CNY!!! woah, remembering mom still nagging about it a month ago but one day awayyyy...went to have 2 reunion dinner today or rather, one tea time (steamboat at M's house) & later at my aunt's house. So blessed! Received my first angpow of the year from M's mom too (kind mama M even gave one for Hung Hung! :') ) *BLUSH*

anyway today I was out the whole afternoon, trying to do some last minute shopping & when I was about to walk back to JE to take bus, I saw 79 coming out of the interchange...so I ran across the overhead bridge, all the way to the opp bus stop only to have the bus driver O.O me while he drove past. Silly me didn't know 79 never stop there *EMBARRASSED*

haha & I played a joke on Daddy this morning! A letter from MINDEF(?) came and Daddy was saying, "A letter for me from MINDEF came, can help me see?" So I said, "MINDEF? Must be ask you to go back re-service" Daddy: "What, I so old already, you sure huh huh huh???" *GAN JIONG FOR THE NEXT 1 MIN* till my mom came out and explained that it is actually a letter informing us that Hung Hung is gg to be enlist soon and asking daddy to give him a prep talk or some sort? (SIGH about the part that Hung Hung enlisting thou :<, gna miss his nonsense so much & our #sucks to be you hahaha) we now answer each other like #sucks to you no matter it is a qn or fact ahhh silly us...

anyway Hung Hung's friends will be coming over one of the days and ahh, so nice. I doubt I have much visiting to do since prolly not going over round to my friends' houses that much this year! (everyone is on holiday ohwhyohwhy) but I made an appointment with Bighead & Ying on about 3rd week of feb so that's good! M will be busy going round his friends' houses gambling and all & they booked him so early *SULKS* he even received smses of confirmation today already :( silly me even sent him one also hahah but guess we are not meeting up that soon :'( ohwell! so call me out people (V FREE!) hehe!

anyway gotta go paint my nails + roll around watching tv, have a great CNY everybody! Stuff yourself silly w pineapple tarts, love letters & bak kwa! Not forgetting the ang pows. Seeyall ardz! ;)

2011-01-15T22:09:00.003+08:00

I had no idea who started the whole mimic-derrick-singing thing, but now even I am hooked!

haha~ 当我知道你们相爱，有了开始有了未来～～～

listen! just don't blame me if you are hooked hehe :>

Just like that

2010-12-30T23:24:00.002+08:00

just a few pictures from everywhere... the xmas tree that Angie recommended from Daiso, the egg that Fiona gave out on her birthday (mad creative & I drew that back for her, hehe <3)>:O)

1 more day to 2011. who knew?

Christmas with Ivy

2010-12-29T19:19:00.003+08:00

Ra Ra Ra~~~

*can't believe 2010 is gone just like that!

Glaires

2010-12-24T02:21:00.004+08:00

haha, I named this after Elaine's Godfinger account because while I am waiting for my hair to dry, I opened the xmas presents that my fellow colleagues gave me (feeling a lil tad guilty now as I didn't prepare anything) and I rly love her present! She gave me a green card & the cutest book that I had ever lay my hands on. It is rly late for a post now (time checked: 2:23am) but I just got home, and while I didn't sip any alcohol during the 107 people company party just now, I was feeling high just on the tiredness. Funny huh? I hadn't had the time to do up xmas cards for everyone but please be rest assured I would prolly send new year cards! tmr tmr tmr, since I got the day off.

Things to do tmr:

trim my hair (after repeated reminders from my darling MM)
run
do up cards!

I didn't really take a lot of photos just now but I prolly appeared unglamly behind ALOT of random agencies' photos as I was quite near the "stage". But there are 2 people who said I looked kinda different with makeup on sooo finger crossed, I wouldn't get recognised! Oh oh & I camwhore a little just now but I guess I am too tired to wait for blogger to upload. More tmr! Goodnight my little earthlings X. Merry Christmas in advance if I didn't update by then!

Whatnots

2010-12-21T15:00:00.005+08:00

last friday had me cooking up a storm and giant cookie at ying's house when I went over for the stayover :) then it is watching Survivor & Breakout & a MJ session that ends at 3! So exhausted when I got home but I got to get up and deliver the cookies to M who exclaimed that the giant cookie looks like a piece of chicken chop! >:O) but I think it is a good try though *blush* aiyaaa if not I will try something else next time huh! haha! Sunday was exhausting but but but me & YT went to Bugis to look for blindfold & I got my "costume" for the Xmas party! "Costume" because I haven't rly started on it yet *shifty eyes* & I got ruffles blindfold! Ahhh so cute *bounces around* hahah & oh oh last sunday I went MBS! We walked around and caught so many interesting things & ate Cold Rock icecream. Suaku me never eat before and I am so fascinated by it hehe. Okay, I will update w pictures soon enough!

Questions that had been bugging me:

XXX - YYY: I rly got no clue but I think it is enough that I don't talk about it. Nobody cares either.
Why can't money be an essential like oxygen?
My ph bill just freaks me out! $25+ of data usage arghhh god knows how I even did it!
why am I becoming more irritated by humans AHHH!

&&& pls pls pls, just about 12 more dollars more before I can cash my nuffnang cheque out! plsplspls, let it be my CNY gift? :) click click on the ads pls! Arigatooo!

Life:

2010-12-12T22:25:00.003+08:00

is a little shitty at times but I believed all will be fine, if you believe & of course try to.
will be better after a goodnight sleep & a fabulous meal
have a little sickness instilled in you to make you weak, to see who will be there for you

thing is, my course of work just went down shit to shitty. Not gna complain about it here as I am sure I already raved on & on about it godsomanyatimes! Tmr work shall starts at 9am and I am gna be there GRR...*breathe in & out* I shall forward the resignation letter into my email, not to take it out and threaten now & then to quit, but to remind myself: another 3months or so and I will move on to better things, another 3 months for a better resume. I am doing this, not only because of a better resume, not to prove myself to anybody but in a sense to train myself. If the politics here is the worst of everything anyone could find anywhere, this shall be the best training ground to toughen myself. Working w a positive new attitude to face this job again...I am looking to see everyone at 9 tmr! HAIYAAA!

Beauty in trolls

2010-12-05T22:30:00.004+08:00

Yesterday I went along(alone) to a gathering w ma Guoliand & Weekian. It was so awkward that I kept on playing on my itouch despite GL's "got so fun" but I was like *playing...awkward laugh playing* till things got sorted out. I got my apology from WK after like what...4 years? Yeah we kinda trashed it out and despite everything of what you think, freakyeah I am still the kind of person who rly need just an apology at the end of the day. & also we played "xian zai kan yi qian" hahah kinda crappy but all for fun's sake! haha & the answer is mad obvious when it came to choosing the top 5 beauties of their & mine's levels? lailaiququnajige! hahaha and for mine shush shush but a "wasted&ratherbias" vote def went to ZW la!

alrightey, it is monday again &&& I am in the committee for our christmas party. Spell ":O" please! workworkwork.

taaa

The guy who disappeared during lunchtime

2010-12-01T16:13:00.003+08:00

haha, above truly inspired by well, the guy who disappeared during lunchtime.

pertaining to my previous previous post...I am grateful for people who came back to this dusty lil space every other day to check, my nuffnang stats shows it all plus encouraging DMs from people whom I definitely didn't expects...made me felt that perhaps, just perhaps I am not as friendless as I thought.

All these also made me a little guilty as to why I complained. :< maybe it's me? But there is something definitely about complaining that relieves that little angsty ball that is going around at that point of time but to be honest, I doubt nothing will change. It will just lead to more complaints so I guess the only thing to do is to be happier. *nods*

*pls click on my nuffnang ads! plsplspls!

Soulmates VS Boyfriends

2010-11-25T16:24:00.005+08:00

Today, one of my colleagues asked, "Between a soulmate & your boyfriend, who would you choose?"

I told her, "it might be easy to find a boyfriend but it is hard to find a soulmate & I would choose a soulmate"

Her response, "Despite being together for perhaps 5 years with your boyfriend (who in this situation is not on the same wavelength as you & your soulmate)?"

Me: "If he is really my soulmate, I believe the next 5, 10 years later, I would be happier than I am with my boyfriend now"

But the problem is, how do I know when I found my soulmate? & also pieces of the same kind won't fit (quote from Michael which WTH I am still using like 4 years later & #itistheonlytimemichaelmadesense). Sometimes, people that are 2 alike end up hurting each other more than people who are not that much alike. perhaps that's why some couples are the exact opposite of each other, haha.

So what about you, between a recently found soulmate VS a long standing boyfriend, which will you choose?

Pathetic fool

2010-11-22T10:33:00.003+08:00

yeah that's what I am. It's been long, after I had counted wrongly for the Nov challenge, I am lazy to countback and replenish back the entries I had missed. It is near the end of Nov now, and the challenge is supposed to be ending now so I guess you can count it as cancelled. I am so lazy I shouldn't be alive. It is Monday and I am surprised within 2 hours of starting work, I feel suffocated and so angsty. There is nothing I hate more than backstabbing + other common elements of the office politics & I had always conveniently place myself out of trouble but it just pisses me off when my colleague just turned to me and stabs stabs stabs. hello, I am not even responding, why do you go on and on and on?! & also picking up shit for people... I know my job my salary is counted high among the other 20yos out there, but I am not happy. It is a stable job, I go to work everyday but I am turning into a ranty angsty 20yo. No one understands because they are not working with me, I had no idea who to talk to.

I tried holding on to this job, not really because of the money but also to prove that I am able to withstand all these. Critics from the boss, how other colleagues sometimes look at me like I am the Death God simply because I am the one who carried jobs to them...All these, I endured it. I take a breath, and think: "This is only a job". But why does my job made me feel like I have to see others' black faces simply because we are traffic, coordinating the job. To others, we are distributing jobs & because we are not the one doing the job, it doesn't mean we are not doing our job. But the question that had been bugging me is that, Do I really need to prove that I can withstand all this? Office Politics etc? Who, in the very end will see my proof that I survived? So what if I survived if I am angsty every single day?

20yo. I nvr imagine my 20yo to be like this. Someone needs to put a warning into those fake fairytales kids are reading nowadays.

Favourite Book to Movie Adaptation

2010-11-11T22:29:00.004+08:00

NEED. NOT. SAY. ANYTHING. MORE.

(Click the link to see individual links)

(Harry Potter is taking the world, pls don't compare it to sparkly individuals & I am still waiting for my Hogwarts letter!)

-

Tonight, when I am walking home, there are kids shooting some rubber shiny soft flubbery thing into the sky and then when it reached the peak of it could reach...it came down and they will shoot it up again making me feel as though I am watching meteorite on this dreadful awful Thursday.

7. Favourite Musical Male Artiste

2010-11-08T22:43:00.006+08:00

haha, are you kidding? Of course it is XIAO ZHU LUO ZHI XIANG!!!

In case you don't know, this is my special boy here.

I think I blogged about him before esp during his concert here, so if you want, you guys can go check through the May archive! & in case you think why there is an entry here after so long, I blogged in the afternoon too okay! & updating this few days too...so why is your eyebrows raised! (LOL just kidding, haven't even do the rest of the entries)

okaydokey, back to my special boy... He have a shop and a programme w xiao gui. Together, they are xiao zhu & xiao gui! *grins* -________-

spam more of ah xiang's photos :D (to me, he is ah xiang, & when he is out there working blah blah, you can call him luo zhi xiang, xiao zhu etc)

lastly, cannot resist guys in jerseys & checkered shirtsss...*faints*

okay I have to go! upload photos on FB! Icecream w the king & plushie on Halloween! Hopefully will blog about it soon LOLLL TAAA!

*all images courtesy of google search!

Banana in your icecream?

2010-11-08T18:08:00.004+08:00

In any case that you have been coming back to this page in search of the 30 November Days Entertainment Challenge Day 3 & 4 and refreshing the page, highlighting corners that might have been updated but highlighted in white...don't fret. YOU ARE NORMAL! Cause I can't find it too!

& the reason is...

my mac charger died. like you connect it to the adaptor and my mac and you on the switch but no electricity is going through...so when I solved the problem (like maybe sneakily doing it during lunch), you might wna click the "Older Post" from tomorrow onwards because my colleague had suggested that I bring the office charger home! (so praying now that my mac is healthy & it had not died but the charger did!)

Tonight's post will be up. Promise. X.

In search for fundfundfund for a new macmac, so pls click on my nuffnang ads if you haven't already. *swings angry fist*

2. Fav Talk Show

2010-11-03T22:30:00.003+08:00

Are you kidding me? Talk Show, I have only ONE choice. *Kangxi Lai Leeee*

Click on the picture to view the latest epi, today's epi is HILARIOUS.

If you think my kinda talkshow like sitting down & talking about serious stuffs, you are wrong! So wrong! 1 hour into Kangxi & they might not even talk about the topic at all,
I think in Taiwan entertainment industry, their programme producer is really creative.
Look at all their topics, food, celebrities dressing each other up,
singing & dancing competitions & the recent photoshop your pictures!
haha, that's what I called a talkshow!
(or perhaps I am warped!)

Image Credit: Google
Video Link: Sugoishow.com

1. Fav Ro-mantic movie

2010-11-02T22:22:00.002+08:00

how to not fall in love with bubbly mischievous white headed gangster Hiro? :)

something about whiteheads make me feel that they are evil but Hiro is so gentle...I remembered crying 45 minutes into the show, even before the drinks we ordered came. think then or even now, a simple love story is perhaps much harder to achieve in our ever-filled-with-dramas life...go have a look people. definitely worth the WATCH!

because Nov is 30 (+1) days of favourites

2010-11-01T18:59:00.005+08:00

Favourite Romantic Movie
Favourite Talk Show
Favourite Action Movie
Favourite Musical Group
Favourite Theme song from a movie
Favourite Animated Movie
Favourite Musical Male Artiste
Favourite Comedy Series
Favourite Host
Favourite Musical Female Artiste
Favourite Horror Movie
Favourite Book to Movie adaptation
Favourite Music Video
Favourite Musical Movie
Favourite Author
Favourite Actress
Favourite Music Album
Favourite Book
Favourite Female Character in a movie
Favourite Celebrity Couple
Favourite Song
Favourite Drama Series
Favourite Actor
Favourite On Screen Couple
Favourite Male Character in a TV series
Favourite Comedic Movie
Favourite Female Character in a TV series
Favourite Male Character in a movie
Favourite Theme song from a TV series
Favourite Variety Programme or Reality Series
Favourite Athlete

yay for daily updates again :)

*pls help to clickclick on my nuffnang ads. aim: to reach $51 & cash out by EOY!!!

Courage w a hint of cheese

2010-10-29T15:29:00.005+08:00

If you are going to fall in love with me, it's only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.

You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall love in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I am a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me.

But, you are also falling in love with the ways my eyes will smile when I'm with you, the way I'll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You're falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thinking will be that you are falling in love with me, despite me thinking that it is impossible.

(taken from Tumblr)

-

This had helped kept my mind sane for this Friday. Sharing w you all, have a Happy Friday!

Friday's story

2010-10-15T23:22:00.003+08:00

"I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism." - Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

-

have not read / watch the movie yet. came upon the above when I was looking for a quote. Funny how sometimes when you are just reading through quotes and this? hmm this? & there, this is it. the perfect quote. Could replace lorea ipsum below & you go figure it out when prolly almost 80% of the time when my intention to blog is in the quote. guagua much but this week had been good. not really good BUT

on monday. I was on emotional wreck. It was the day I got really concerned about how close M & his (girl)friend is. Angielmo asked how much I trust him, I said I trust him but it is just the feeling of seeing their pictures together...makes me so angry, so frustrated. I mean I hate controlling mates & I do not want to be one unreasonable person & at the moment I felt so insecure I feel like giving this whole r/s up.

Insecurity frightened the shit out of me. I would rather not have ANY friends, ANY love BE ALONE than to be insecure. When I felt insecure, I was literally in my own little bottle which no one would enter, not even when they wanted to. So badly seeking comfort that...is not there.

But he called and before I could go on any longer, cheered me up a little. The matter is being put aside agn and I recovered before I could think (seriously) about it agn. Pity it would, if love between 2 was given up by insecurity but I don't really know when I will crack.

101010

2010-10-10T23:07:00.003+08:00

I missed that. twice. one in the morning when I was still rolling around in my bed & the other (just) when I am watching ANTM 15. HMM. funny how I wished that I was taller, any taller at some point of time...be it the normal 1.6 or way too high 1.8...I just don't wna stuck below a 1.55 and emphasize that I am a 1.53*** whereby the 0.03 will make me a giant height taller than a 1.5, haha, & that I saw people w issues with being tall this week.

There is this guy on tv with a "giant" syndrome. He is so tall that other than it was hard finding jobs, because he was so tall so heavy & everything, his legs turned black cause of the blood circulation is always rushing down to his feet. He had to wear a special kind of socks but you could see patches of black even from the outside of the socks. He is so dumpy that for once, being that tall is not a great thing.

There's also this girl (Ann I think) who is so tall that being called a giant was like so hurtful to her. Confidence decreased when she is clearly such a beautiful girl :(

know that people would always be unsatisfied somehow somewhere about themselves, joking about it...IDK. I had pretty low self-confidence & I think from today, it is all gna be positive!

Positive positive on 101010. not a bad start aye! short is good~ short looks cute~ we could grow taller but when you are taller, you can't grow shorter~ (LOL that doesn't rly fit) whoohoo!

(kay proper post soon *runs off*)

If you have my life, you wouldn't wna live it either.

2010-10-02T22:53:00.003+08:00

drama...ridiculous things happens. to me. why? why did the God up there raised my hopes only to crash it always with some lame way?

Sigh I overslept and didn't attend M's POP because I set the alarm wrongly. Fucking dumb. will nvr forgive myself. Last year, I did something that I took a near 6 months to come to terms with it and now this happens. When can I be really happy?

ron will be back in 2 days

2010-09-29T17:54:00.006+08:00

I miss ron, I really do. Ron is steady and random & helps me & listen to me whine & bitch...it is like when he is not here, there is no one game enough to go on wild adventures with me, no one to even accompany me (pretty fml). There is a period whereby I am real independent, eating alone etc...but when ron joins in for lunch/CS, so so so much fun...

I am really tired when people have a bad day and gave off subtle messages on social network platforms and I as a normal human will be surprised and shocked whether they are talking about me. I am a normal human, of course I would be conscious whether someone is talking about me, unless it is someone I do not care about, I would leave it. Despite having a bad day at work, I would never subtly flare it up at somebody else? IDK...I guess maybe having a bad day and people pulling funny stunts just add on to the "bad day" which is really what I am feeling now.

Stressed up, frustrated. Work is not going smooth today, rly not at all. I am piled with work, I made a few mistakes today, I am tired. I want things to go smoothly at work and hate myself for making mistakes and stressed. When other stuffs goes wrong, I feel so so so angry because it will be like my work is not giving me the time t breathe and yet when I knocked off, I have to fret about other stuffs that had already been agreed.

Okay, I am like bitchslapping myself here but it really annoys the hell out of me! People that I am close to just keep on letting me down and ask me to forget it, forget it. Maybe I admit on my part, I have not been the 100% friend but if I know the situation you are in, I will definitely not retaliate back. In the event of knowing and I still do, then I will admit it is my fault. I think everyone faces some amount of stress at work or some other area, when I did not talk about it, It definitely doesn't mean anyone can subject me to ridiculous things? IDK, sometimes I feel alienating myself is the best, depending on myself is the best because if I failed, I do not need to feel upset, disappointment...I can give an answer to myself. & recently, I realized, it is only till that shit landed on others then will they panicked and have the situation described above. If not, it is pretty much on your own. & yes, I will forget it. & along with everything we have along with it. Just don't expect me to be as close to the past when so much things have happened.

-endofrant-

work is pissing me off, mistakes like this shouldn't be made. It is not helping when I am new and I am dealing w people I know + new people. All of these are adding up to be this really big whirlpool, turning us around and around. I thought I coped well for the last 2 days despite my colleague is not here and I am alone w the traffic manager but I kinda lost the balance today, helping J who is out for recee + my own duties :(

& yes, on twitter, when I am pissed, I vent it out. It is clear who I am referring to and I won't deny it. at least gd thing is, ron will be back. in 2 days. :) I miss you ron! can't wait for the weekends when you are finally back!!!

*breathe in and out*

time to get back to work and sort out the trouble I created *HEAVY SIGH*

All about Usui!

2010-09-27T00:42:00.008+08:00

just watched finish the last epi of my Usui~ He got together with the female character, ahhh how cute :') I mean (for people who watched anime will know) most animes usually drag and draggg and draggg but I think this anime is paced well and I think I cried a little just now *blush* It is like they finally got together plus a little mixture of like this is the end of my Usui. I might just rewatch the anime everytime and anytime I feel lost, unhappy or happy.

haha thing is I kept talking about Usui on twitter and facebook is that he had the old school romance element. Somebody that would exist in the "so called corny" dramas last time. But I think now the dramas had more interesting storyline that it seems the plain old falling in love element is gone!!! Usui is someone which you hate, and is frustrated by the fact that he is constantly by your side yet at the same time, you are comforted by his existence. When you are tired, nobody is there, you will know he is. Despite pushing him away, brushing his concern aside, he is just there to make you take their mind off your trouble and bring a smile to your face. :)

I think people nowadays are looking at things too much at the surface that, if you just try a little harder to drift apart from them, you really will. Usui reminded me of a faraway friend, someone which I don't hate but I am really glad that he is there. Someone despite at times when I am hostile and distant towards the rest of the world, will still drop me mails of concerns and when at my side, make sure that I am smiling. I miss you my friend, I really do.

haha in some other ways, ah xiang seem more achievable than Usui. Who else is willingly to put in that much effort to break the ice, hurting and tiring himself (sometimes). I watched these old school dramas since I am young and to be honest, when people asked for a rich handsome bf, I asked for one who will always stay at my side even when I am dead (yes sometimes I am selfish like that). I get a huge sense of sadness when people could just replace me but I am learning to cope with the fact that no more perfect Usui(s) exists (somehow).

seeking death

2010-09-24T23:46:00.004+08:00

It had not been a good week, busy work occupied me, wasting my time on useless crap at work leave me frustrated, things had not been very good. next week could be worst, I was not looking forward to it, hoping whatever I had been planning to go well & that's enough. Emotional week...saw people going for stayovers etc etc. It had been long since I went for some "fun". Oh those happy times, where had they gone? Sigh pictures of the outing on wed soon.

sometimes.

2010-09-21T00:15:00.001+08:00

我知道你想逃避不想問不想聽
這段感情已經快要暫停

聽我說從今後我會一個人生活
沒有我的時候你要一個人好好過

在我轉身之後你卻又抱著我
在放手以後不再擁有彼此的溫柔

在我轉身之後你的淚不停流
雖然心很痛卻只能說分開以後我就要遠走

feed-my-weekends-w-an-antidote

2010-09-12T22:05:00.004+08:00

Saturday was prolly one of my most active day alive yet. going to the kino sales, then to eunos(not expo haha) for TS sales then to the many rounds of scape flea before settling down for some yummy KFC & then again to plazasing for some cloths. not healthy on the wallet but it was all sales&flea and I think it can still take it. was feeling a bit emotional as I recap my sunday and prolly of the whole second half of the year...rly should change...TRYING MY BEST TO BE LIKE WHEN I JUST GOT BACK FROM TAIWAN...FREAKING CHILLZ.

alrighty, plsplspls click on my ads whenever you see them okayyy? I can't wait to escape here agn...SIGH. back to work on my penguin now! TA!

squirdward is the new paul!

2010-09-09T12:09:00.002+08:00

ASK!

Last friday.

2010-09-06T19:20:00.004+08:00

last friday, I met up w the girls from Captain (AD)planet for awesome thai food + ahchew! heehe. & thankgod for @angielmo to accompany me while waiting for them to knock off *guilt of a freeloader arising* yes, more of that laterz. 20yo certainly isn't fun when you had to make decisions on what course to take plus the commitment to a job. Why hadn't somebody warn me of all these when I am 2? I might have decided never to grow up then!

Oh~ the delicious thai food @ porn's!

Oh, she (^) is much more sexier than all the thai food all tgt that I can't take it teehee!

Last.

2010-08-31T23:48:00.003+08:00

tbh, this is the topic I wanted to blog about v much.

"Your reflection in the mirror"

When I looked in the mirror, I think I see the term "a sulky teenager" Jet-black, long limp hair, round face with absolute no features, flat nose fat face, no eyelash, dark face droppy eyes...In a way I think I look like Snape (omg). Dark eye circles that indicates the sleepless nights, tired eyes to remind me of the times I cried myself to sleep...un-erasable proof.

PS: Ytd post was something you wanted to tell someone but was afraid to. There is a whole lot that I want to tell my parents, friends and M. But sadly these remained in my head, given an opp. it never came out. Hmm~

with this, the 30 days challenge came to an end. taiwan post next?

2010-08-30T22:42:00.001+08:00

someone that changed your life

2010-08-29T23:17:00.003+08:00

time, character, whatever that might have pulled us apart but I will never forget the night you sat with me at the playground, with me brawling my eyes out...That was a time I felt, there are people (even if it is just one) who do not want me to freaking die.

given my character, I won't say it direct - but you kinda saved me.

Thank you.

The friendliest person you knew for one day

2010-08-28T23:14:00.003+08:00

This is quite easy. Bryan from the NATAS :) ok, i'll edit laterx. tiredmejustwannasleep :(

The last person you made a pinky promise to.

2010-08-27T23:03:00.003+08:00

I have rly stopped doing pinkies w people, because I don't want to break a promise I can't keep & also I don't want my heart to get broken because of people who can't keep promises.

lessons on life

2010-08-26T22:31:00.002+08:00

"

"

-

Ahh, a valuable lesson indeed!

The person I knew that is going through the worst period of his/her time

2010-08-26T20:49:00.003+08:00

How true...no job no boyfriend. GAH (this post is so worthless, I don't even know what to blog except for mine?)

HAPPY BIRHTDAY CHERYLCHAIXUEER! ILY! *Virtual kisses*

The person that gave you your favourite memory

2010-08-25T20:31:00.003+08:00

I wasn't sure whether it is a blur of my sleepy state but I remembered someone waking up beside me, frantically trying to close the windows as it had begun to rain, fearing the rain would splash in and woke me up. somehow, he gave me lots of memories too. (twiggles my fingers heheh)

24. The last person you kissed

2010-08-24T21:10:00.004+08:00

heh heh heh. X.

22. I want to give a second chance to

2010-08-23T23:25:00.004+08:00

Not gna play cheat, I wanted to type this when I am back hence if you are reading this, I AM BACK! DID YOU ALL MISS ME?!

haha but back to the topic. Second chance second chance...

If it is me then, I would like to say I want to give a second chance to the people that had hurt me, let me down... now I would say I want to give myself a second chance, to be more forgiving more...accepting of others. It definitely won't be easy but. I want to do it!

Things had changed, people changed. Surroundings are changing, I couldn't even recognize my sec sch when I went past it just now...to be honest, I felt that many people "had let me down"...putting aside the problem of whose fault it is or whatsoever first, the actions, things way sometimes...It is like I expect more of them but a sudden action / behavior...

I used to think, "ok, here goes a second chance" but in the end? I was let down and broken further...I held tight to second chances the next time, in fact people had to do so much more to convince and prove to me that they are friendly and not hostile if I decided to drift away from them let alone had a second chance.

But now that I am back...(feeling rather refreshed & having a new prospective) things are gna be good. *tiny promise to self*

21 persons/things I judged by their first impression

2010-08-22T22:08:00.001+08:00

Ron - LOL super weird (Wrong. because he is a silent killer + super active online [last time])
Chua Peixuan - Super enthu (Correct because she is like the first to intro herself everytime in orientation! [I remembered her name after that LOLLL])
Angie Ong - Mad quiet & shy (Wrong. after that her gangster traits started to show & I am getting along v well w her as a member of Tsuan's mafia (GO TENTH!!!) \o///)
Mr R - very cool guy ( Wrong. Talked extremely quick and is a good family guy! ^-^)
Sporty Ron - good at everything sports (Wrong. Cause he sucks at basketball LOLLL)
Rick - fierce (Wrong. So funny afterwards)
Ah Guan - Quiet (erm kinda? but mad talented!)
X - Someone I thought who was mad random (Correct. & yes I think she rly is!)
Yuxuan: Look like some geek ( 1/2 Correct: Omg you have no idea how talented he is! Gaming, blog on gaming & all the other tech stuffs = he win! plus he is quite cool actually LOL)
Pat: Irritating ( Wrong. mad wrong. Likes to joke plus mad friendly afterwards)
A: famous guy (err Idrk but like super random & friendly. My favorite guy at work *blush*)
M: friendly (MAD CORRECT BECAUSE HE IS TOO FRIENDLY TO EVEYRBODY -___-)
Bighead: Quiet & Smart ( first one is wrong wrong wrong because everyone should talk to him online and see! Smart is don't need to say one, till now I don't get how people can play games + still so smart)
Laykun: Like some v easy to bully pri schooler (Wrong: She is quite funny + smart)
Chen Han Dian: Very irritating (1/2 correct, quite funny + talented now!)
Some random korean songs: V V V irritating (also 1/2 correct, once you listen more, they just have the click-w-everybody-except-for-Angie-Ong factor)
Some Jap dramas: Sometimes I am v skeptical when I watched a new drama, BUT so far so good (Y)
Fairy Tail: V doubtful (When Ber tell me, I was like :O but now I am HOOKED!)
The guy who sang onions: irritating like hell (verdict: I still don't like him)
those weird taiwanese people who got famous for nothing: (verdict: see infront!)
Hmm - ( I know v rude call people hmm but I dont even have a nickname for her) I do not know her personally and every time someone tell me something, I will change my opinion on her (Verdict: Unknown)

I know this list is quite nonsense but after doing it, it seems I really do based a lot of people on first impression (verdict: sometimes I can be quite shallow like that LOLLL)

The One that broke your heart the hardest.

2010-08-21T11:11:00.001+08:00

"Like the 4 seasons, Halu & Aki will only pass each other"

Someone who pesters my mind - good or bad

2010-08-20T20:10:00.001+08:00

I shall write about 19 TYPES of people / things who will linger on my mind:)

Strangers wearing checkered shirts :D
People doing injustice
SMRT w their trains & buses
Twitter friends!
LordVoldemort_7
What mama is cooking today
Irritating people
People who changed their mind faster than you are reading this sentence
blogshops
people who raised their arms on the train + pretend t sleep
people I like (hehe)
people I DON'T like
people who took ideas/songs without giving credits
power hungry people
things I like (waho)
XXX
people who treat me like okayyy then suddenly becoming friendlier when in need of a favor -____-
nice dramas
never ending animes! (speaking of this, argh bighead told me no hitman reborn this week arghhhh)

18 - The person you wished you could be

2010-08-19T23:11:00.001+08:00

I want to be that girl with thick & long curly hair, that girl with clearly defined facial features, long eyelashes, fair, smart, knows a musical instrument, runs very fast, with no eye bags, no burdens, wants to be "pretty", wants to be compliment every now and then, wants to be able to own everything because I can owned everything, wants...

But if I am all of that, I think I will turned out rather screwed.

Remember @onenil, there are days you will hate yourself, but I think the above ^ thin straight black hair girl w no eyelashes, flat facial features & chest girl knows how to appreciate a lot things more than the girl if she was the girl in the top description.

Day 17 - Someone from my childhood: Ali and Sabrina

2010-08-18T18:35:00.002+08:00

haha never would I thought of putting them in this topic. But come to think of it, these 2 are the one who impact me a lot. Ever got your compo book flung across the classroom and thrown into the rubbish bin? Ever got threaten by a teacher who is so fierce but changed his tone after recess? So fierce yet still gave me a fluffy blue pencilbox as a present as encouragement? This 2 are prolly the only one who is fierce + cool and like you know, rly shape the students' character kinda teachers!
heh I love Mr Ali + Ms Sabrina...& of course everyone in my pri school
esp my charming prefect boy ♥.♥

Day 16- Someone that's not in your state/country

2010-08-17T13:11:00.001+08:00

Shannon, YT & Me.

Hopefully we can go visit her in NZ soon and take some photos :)

I met her at work, I mistook her words that she lives in a house and kept on asking her how’s the renovation lift work going at her “house”, gmail chat is really helpful now that she is over in NZ, I mailed her a birthday card this year and received her card + sms all the way from there. It was really a short time to know her and she got married and migrated…I am really happy she invited me to her wedding and I hope one day I will have the chance to invite her back here for my wedding too. There is nothing I can’t talk to her, nothing we can’t discussed. Funny web stuffs, emails…pictures, I am really glad that technology is so advanced now, can skype too. But the thing is not everywhere, there will be free flow Internet here + time difference etc :(

When she wakes up and goes for her sewing class, it is like 5am here hahahahahah. ohman, I really hope I have more memories to update this page SHANNON TAN! X.

15 things about the person you miss the most on Day 15

2010-08-16T10:53:00.003+08:00

There is no more no more Ming11 online whenever I want to
I can only talk to him like btw 9-10pm everyday, once you miss it, GONE! faster & stricter than commercial breaks.
no one to tease me
no one to poke me
no one to tickle me
sometimes weekend he would be so tired, we will nvr go anywhere
he suddenly feel like watching movies sometimes
I have to do some of his stuffs for him *MEGA STRESSED*
his bunk is too noisy for phone calls w alvin the chipmunk around
he still talk to alvin the chipmunk on weekend!
he took photos w his friends except me :(
he can’t watch kangxi with me anymore
no one to talk me to sleep :( :( :(
because I only see him once a week and not randomly anymore
because ARMY / TEKONG is sucha bf stealer >:<

BUT HIS HEAD NOW (BOTAK) IS SO SO SO FLUFFEH, I WANNA DIE! :D

Day 14-(how to maintain r/s w) Someone you have drifted apart from

2010-08-15T23:28:00.005+08:00

I think I might have merged this topic w some other days. LOL now I feel bad for repeating because I know somehow we have never drifted that far laaa so I added something in front!

How to maintain friendship w someone you have drifted apart from? Efforts.

Ps: ( I might not be blogging long entries since I will be out of town from 17 Aug to 23 Aug! but do check back! I will still be updating but maybe I will edit into longer entries once I am back ok! *shifty eyes*) From Tuesday, it will prolly be scheduled posts means random timing! OMG SO EXCITING AND MYSTERIOUS~~~

The minions say hi!

2010-08-14T23:28:00.004+08:00

PS: Day 13 of the 30 days writing challenge over the next page

Day 13 - seeking forgiveness

2010-08-14T23:05:00.003+08:00

I am wonky looney, sufferer of perhaps under the "never had the sense of belonging" syndrome. No one had ever made me feel like they want me really badly. People just replace me, ignore me. "If I vanish, who will notice?"
To be honest, sometimes I rly think whether I suffered from depression.
Some days I would be laughing but when night sets in, lights are off,
I cry. So badly.
There are times I tell lies, to test people to let people to back off,
& in a horrible way these lies succeeded and I am left alone.
To those that I lied before or endure through my crazy antics...
Sorry.

12 things about the person I “dislike” (hate is too strong a word)

2010-08-13T13:08:00.001+08:00

He made me cried one day before my birthday and is blur like Homer Simpsons.
She said that I am like the waitresses’ supervisor at one important friend’s wedding
Both of them are tall
One of them had confidence, perhaps a little too much
I think I am a better person now after both of them
People around me don’t really like these 2 persons which is kinda comforting
They are people I met at work and I hoped never to see them again
One of them repent and even gave me chocos to make up. The other is beyond hope.
Both of them are the angmoh potatoes.
I think they might make a good pair as mr & mrs potato in toy story(2)(3)
I deleted her number from my phone.
One is fickle and very much of a scary unhealthy woman

haha, the other guy was ok now, but I think youngsters nowadays really need to keep their temper in check. I mean no wonder there are so many, “you diao me izzit? *stabs you* cases now…tsk tsk.

Then of course the big B (& B do not stand for boobs mind you)…that’s the epic win. I think on the surface, she might be richer than me, had more friends, but at least I knew my friends are real and well I think I am very much happier than her :D

"I never hold a grudge. As soon as I get even with the SOAB, I forget it." - W.C Fields.

A Deceased Person you wish you could talk to on Day 11

2010-08-12T22:04:00.002+08:00

Dear @onenil,

200 years down the road, I wondered if you had been reborned. what would you be now? I remembered sometimes you said that you wanna be a lizard in your next life, just sticking up the wall and eating flies ( can watch tv too!). I wondered are you a lizard now?

I believed since you are dead, you had lived a bit more of our life than me now. What is gna happen next? Am I gna work, school or gna not work at all? What age am I gna live to, will I have a happy family next time? haha who knows, maybe the day I realize I got the answer, I might just drop dead.

Sometimes they say when a person dies really young, people say that person’s life is wasted. I say, he/she might be better off dead and happier as another person.

Keeping my hopes up,

Living A.

Day 10 - Some (one) you don't talk to as much as you'd like to

2010-08-11T22:24:00.003+08:00

hmm this could be tricky. I believe we all have friends...then drifted apart. [Joel] never talk to me much now, we communicated through email sometimes cause I seldom see him online and I really don't know how he is doing now >:( (will & must send him an email soon!)

there is also [737]. somehow I felt me & [737] drifted apart when I showed [737] a joke & [737] don't get it. Result of not talking daily and you know the awkward feeling of like TADAH then awkward glances and guagua...hmm. perhaps when me & [737] walked onto the different path of life and [737] could no longer understand the pressure that I am going through.

Perhaps that's life. I knew efforts is is the trick, but people are selfish, we are forever waiting for people to talk to us first.

"I keep thinking about this river somewhere, with the water moving really fast. And these two people in the water, trying to hold onto each other, holding on as hard as they can, but in the end it's just too much. The current's too strong. They've got to let go, drift apart. - Kazuo Ishiguro

9 - The person you wanted to meet

2010-08-10T21:15:00.004+08:00

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love. By returning, you may ensure that fewer souls are maimed, fewer families are torn apart. If that seems to you a worthy goal, then we say good-bye for the present.”

-

I remembered the time I picked up my first Harry Potter book, given by my aunt. I was o.o & began reading...by the time I finished, it was as if the whole world knew of the secret of the Philsopher's Stone. I skipped the second and was given a second hand Prisoner of Azkaban. Throughout the whole magical journey and even in the books, Harry Potter soared...and me too. I love the story. But I loved Dumbledore more.
The ever kind principal, fun (with his Chocolate frog) and even at times he seem cool,
I believe in our social life lives a Dumbledore, someone with so much knowledge,
you respect him yet he knew of so much fun times, you enjoy time with him.
He will be the one to seek for advice, and in troubled times, you know he is there.
The times he searched for Voldemort's soul, I sensed he seem weak,
that's the first time I sense a vulnerable Dumbledore.
I flipped the pages eagerly and heaved a sigh of relief when they got back to Hogwarts safely.
Who would knows, within minutes, I read Dumbledore's death.
I cried.
In the movie, he was given a "fall back and fell off the cliff* way of dying,
how could they let the great Dumbleore die like this?!
But still I cried.

A fictional character no doubt,
but so true in my life.
If there is a person I want to meet,
even for 9 minutes,
I want to meet you, Albus Dumbledore :'>

8 pictures of my favourite Internet friend

2010-08-09T22:59:00.004+08:00

Child C is prolly my favourite Internet friend ever. I remembered I go :O when Daphne introduced me this game. Then, Child C wasn't its name. I saw a book in Popular about adoption and I thought I am gna channel all my love and efforts into this - Child C its name shall be. Green w the detective look till now - a funfair worker, mexican & lady pawpaw. I changes its clothes every week & colour every other week...but never its features. haha my front porch changes its look EVERY week because I have so much stuffs and I am rly proud I took gd care of it for the past 1 year. I bought it petlings and stuffs clothes (& the occasional food), plant trees & flowers, take it fishing, got past the running stage, visiting friends every day (if possible) when others do was to hack and raise their coins & levels. As a gd parent, I looked up the forums and see if there is anything I can to make Child C's house a better one. & now I am a lil worried for the lil ones (its petlings)...who is to feed them when I am off to TW?! & yes, ron is also nominated again as you can see :)

Day 7 - Your Ex- boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

2010-08-08T23:06:00.005+08:00

In case you do not know, I am currently doing the 30days writing challenge and each day I would post according to this. It is finally a week since I started on the 30days writing challenge and Day 7, it would be about my ex-boyfriend (s).

These 2 are as different as anyone could be in my life, I could write a long post about how we met and the sadness I had when we break, but well...I rather blog about the song that reminds me of them :)

(H) 窗外的麻雀在电线杆上多嘴
你说这一句很有夏天的感觉
手中的铅笔在纸上来来回回
我用几行字形容你是我的谁
秋刀鱼的滋味猫跟你都想了解
初恋的香味就这样被我们寻回
那温暖的阳光象刚摘的鲜艳草莓
你说你舍不得吃掉这一种感觉
雨下整夜我的爱溢出就象雨水
院子落叶跟我的思念厚厚一叠
几句是非也无法将我的热情冷却
你出现在我诗的每一页
整夜我的爱溢出就象雨水
窗台蝴蝶象诗里纷飞的美丽章节
我接着写把永远爱你写进诗的结尾
你是我唯一想要的了解
那饱满的稻穗幸福了这个季节
而你的脸颊象田里熟透的蕃茄
你突然对我说七里香的名字很美
我此刻却只想亲吻你倔强的嘴

&

(Y) 要抱你才能够入睡
思念你只剩下疲惫
爱过你才懂得甜美
再爱谁也都无味
但这世界太多暧昧
只有你我清楚而绝对
绝不留后路去退
爱到爆裂冲破了极限
世界末日不躲远
不是爱你的终点
就算眼睛听不见
我的手会记住你的脸
世界末日那一天
有你陪在我身边
就算耳朵听不见
拥抱就是最美的诺言
要抱你才能够入睡
思念你只剩下疲惫
爱过你才懂得甜美
再爱谁也都无味
这世界太多暧昧
只有你我清楚而绝对
绝不留后路去退
爱到爆裂冲破了极限
世界末日不躲远
不是爱你的终点
就算眼睛听不见
我的手会记住你的脸
世界末日那一天
有你陪在我身边
就算耳朵听不见
拥抱就是最美的诺言
第一次觉得放不下
第一次心情像海洋
第一次无力抵挡
第一次会那么的渴望
世界末日不躲远
不是爱你的终点
就算眼睛听不见
我的手会记住你的脸
世界末日那一天
有你陪在我身边
就算耳朵听不见
拥抱就是最美的诺言

Ahh yes Jay Chou.

The Day I tell you 6 things about this Stranger

2010-08-07T23:04:00.001+08:00

He is v tall & tanned
he can do this chin up thing and still look cute. He always try to open his eyes if he wanna act cute or look at something
I love him when he always hug his mum and not ashamed of it.
I love his serious look when he perform on stage
I love how he laugh - the top half falling behind and if he had a file on his hand would swing forward
sometimes when something caught him by surprise, he would laugh and hold the person and ask what why hahahhaha.

I remembered in Corner* With Love, he & da S had a game whereby if they were truly friends, they would be able to close their eyes and describe each other.

I just did, my favourite stranger.

Dreams take 5.

2010-08-06T23:11:00.001+08:00

when I am young: "I wanna be a policeman when I grow up. I wanna be a teacher! I wanna be a dancer, backpacker, manager of a basketball team, detective (hell yeah) housewife ... WHEN I GROW UP!"

now when I grow up: "I don't know what I wanna do. Sian."

Hung Hung on the 4th day.

2010-08-05T13:12:00.001+08:00

"So we dream on. Thus we invent our lives. We give ourselves a sainted mother, we make our father a hero; and someone’s older brother and someone’s older sister – they become our heroes too. We invent what we love and what we fear. There is always a brave lost brother – and a little lost sister, too. We dream on and on: the best hotel, the perfect family, the resort life. And our dreams escape us almost as vividly as we can imagine them… That’s what happens, like it or not. And because that’s what happens, this is what we need: we need a good, smart bear…
Coach Bob knew it all along: you’ve got to get obsessed and stay obsessed.
You have to keep passing the open windows." - John Irving

___________________________________________________

My little brother is called Er(2) Hung. I am called Yi (1) Ling. I often kid with my parents that if I were to have a third sibling. she/he would be called san (3) bao. LOLLL. Hung Hung is 1 year younger than me, a lot taller than me, much thinner than me, more popular and flirty than me, a much more well trained gamer + make a lot more trouble than me too.

2009-2010 would be a important year for him, but it is his stuffs his privacy.

I like how I have a rather love-hate r/s with him? Sometimes I will blew his head off w my screaming, sometimes I would buy dinner back for him. sometimes at midnight he would come into my room and talk crap with me, sometimes when we go for family gatherings, me & Hung Hung would just go to a little corner and update each other.

Many times, we discussed Taiwan variety shows during dinner tgt and I would disturb him at random times of the day by shouting “Hung Hung! Come & watch this now” and we would laughed at the stupid video shit tgt.

Although most of the time I say I hate him, and would very much not be associated with him…I am jealous of him (in a way). I remembered the son&daughter theory. Mom would dote on son, Dad dote on daughter. I remembered an incident when we are little and there is this vechicle that would come fetch us from our villa (we were on a holiday in Bintan) to the exit and I am so angry Hung Hung can sit beside the driver that I just crushed my balled fists onto his head. He started bawling but the big evil sister wins.

Gone were those days… but let’s just say I still love my ~~little~~ brother very much.

"Papa & Mama" The Third

2010-08-04T22:10:00.005+08:00

"What we want most is to be held...and told..that everything
(everything is a funny thing, is baby milk and papa's eyes, is roaring logs on a cold morning,
is hoot owls and the boy who makes you cry after school,
is mama's long hair, is being afraid and twisted faces on the bedroom wall)...
is going to be alright." - Truman Capote

______________________________________________________

To be honest, I don’t think my mom & dad is your average parents. They are that little bit of wacko weirdos, different and sometimes bring a lot of trouble. My dad was working at the coffeeshop when I was little, a carpet-er when I was in secondary school and then now a Meiji factory worker. now now, I am ok with it…not every dad could be able to bring back Hello Pandas by boxes you know. My mom was a housewife then a part time worker & now, still a part timer at a place which beckons long queue every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday & the weekends.

given the above situation, I guess you realize we are not the average well to do family but we are definitely a happy one. Although sometimes there will be trouble, we would be pissed with each other but I reckon every other family do have their problems too. The difference between family and friends is that, family will always be there for you and there will never be any long hatred between family members.

I like to squeeze my dad’s face (althou he hates it) and feel his hair…can you believe it is actually soft like a baby’s hair? I had no idea how he does it…my dad, like any other teenage girl often went for a haircut but we could see no differences, he tried his outmost best at speaking English and watched movies on ch 5 althou we often questioned his ability to understand the dialogue. He as a dad, had lots of pride and often switched channels…however if everyone become sian and disperse, he will tune back to the channel we want and just watch. hehe :> of course, there are other things but I appreciate everything you done dad! (everyone is not perfect, I am not the perfect daughter too, but as family, no matter how bad someone can turned into, I guess we are still a family :) )

My mom now. She is very smart, good at Maths, and a proud ex-SAF soldier although I used her SAF mug to drink Milo every morning when I am in secondary school. Mama used to have long hair, longer than anybody’s…but one day she snipped it off and it remained short now (Y). She is hooked onto Bejeweled now, and is very proud when she manage to hit 100k and often asked me to “go away” whenever I talked to her on FB Chat. She knows how to sms too (o.o huh!) and would often include :D :) anyhowthings at the end of the sms and oh have andy lau as her screensaver :> she is the typical mama whereby she tried her best to give her children the most out of what she have. ILY, mama for the meals that you have cooked, the shoes (that everyone praised LOL WTH) for me, the care & concerns all these years. You never make me feel that we are not well to do..(maybe recently since I still owe her allowances) and I just wanna say, 辛苦了！

Secondo: Crush

2010-08-03T23:41:00.005+08:00

"The mark of a true crush
Is that you fall in love first
And grope for reasons afterward"
-Shana Alexander

________________________________________

This is what happens to me & him. I remembered liking him because
somehow he seems cool, cause somehow he was standing in front when school started,
somehow I didn't know that was for latecomers instead of prefects.
Somehow in my last year, everyone from my friends to his (whole class) to our teachers
knew about my crush.

All my silly tactics:

buying milo from the malay stall instead of the chinese one because the malay store is nearer to the area he always sit in & the basketball courts
learning and playing basketball because of him
taking the stroller bus and "stroll" in with him
learning how to spy on someone, including furiously flipping his chinese spelling book outside the staff room and was shocked at his handwriting (v nice!) and his results (ahem)
buying his class photo happily which afterwards I realize do not have him (he was sick)
plucking courage to sms him a long wordy sms to "biao bai"
& finally taking a picture w him during Teacher's Day
putting this picture on hp screen although it practically means nothing
adding him on MSN and feeling shiok simply because I have him on my MSN

haha, yeah that simple gamer up there is my crush. the always laugh to himself, sleeping lazy boy who had 2 sisters and his com near the tv at home boy = my crush for 3 years and making my secondary school life (all about him) a very much better place :)

PS: The picture was terribly old school and I *AHHH* don't even wanna look at it. & yes, that was me in Sec 4 FMLLL.

The #1 goes to best friend.

2010-08-02T20:32:00.008+08:00

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." -Groucho Marx

__________________________________________________

Ron: "Can I have 2 KICKASS tickets, (time).
Salesgirl: "So 2 tickets, (blah blah then like ask to re-confirm the movie title)
Me: "YEAHHH, KICKASS"
Ron: *laugh*
Me: *laugh too* (cause obviously I am trying to help him whattt!)
Ron: "Why you say kickass till like that?"
Me: "Then why you say 2 KICKASS tickets?"

-

haha enough said?

Because August is a month worth of reads

2010-08-01T23:09:00.004+08:00

Day 1 - You best friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 - Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

30 days writing challenge credits to hiasbitporeuha.bs.com
-

read about my favourite person here

My favourite person on Earth!

2010-07-30T22:22:00.005+08:00

I think everyone have a favourite person...whether it is a relative, friend or loved one. Someone who will cheer you up once you see him/her...I remembered when I am young, my aunt is my favorite person. She will bring us out to play so I liked her a lot. She still dote on me but...there is another person now.

When people thinks I am weird or irritating or just simply being a sensitive bitch, this person is here. Once, he was the last person I see, every night I closed my eyes. & in the morning, he is the first that I saw. That period was pathetic in others' eyes, but I was happy. Funnily enough, when everyone said, he is the far unachievable target, he was the only one who managed to fulfill his promise made to me. If I am willingly to wait for him, he will definitely do his best to make sure my time was not wasted waiting for him. 3 times. & everytime I waited, I knew. I trust him, I am not afraid, he gave me courage once to go all the way to the other side of this island all alone. But I wasn't afraid simply because he was that dependable.

I remembered turning back to him when reality let me down. However, I knew it was wrong. I actually loved him a little more than I thought I had. After reality disappoints me, how could I turn back to him like a spare tire? Yet everytime I see him, he managed to paste a smile on my face. So I decided he would be my favorite person on Earth. I still love him of course, but things changes.

This year, I was proud happy to be part of him, his life. I sat there, proud. People might not know who he is, but for that 2 hours, the strong crowd knew him. They were rooting for him, shouting his name, and him dancing singing hard.

Thankfully for this person who bought me out of the periods where I am down,
Thankfully for this person who tried so hard to kept his promises,
Thankfully for this person who did not give up after all his setbacks,
Thankfully for you...

Happy Birthday, my favourite person on Earth :)

Someone who seems so far yet proved to be so much more reliable than all the people that existed in my reality.

Him in a basketball jersey = my fatal attraction ♥

Thinkin back
To the feelin that I had when I first saw your face
I knew that it was you
Some time has passed
And the feelings that I had before still are the same
Cause you never changed no

Even though I dont show it girl
I just want you to know
That even if we fight a million times over little things
We can still make it better
I meant what I said when I gave you that promise ring
That ima love you forever
I fall for you deeper everyday
Feel it now girl more than ever
But with our type of love
Forever aint enough

I've been searchin my whole life,
I'm lucky I found you
No better girl too
You aint leavin cause
Forever aint enough

You see me for who I am and not for who I'm not no
I'm tellin you that I'm sorry
If I tend to treat you the wrong way
But I care you know my heart is there
Even though I dont show it girl
I just want you to know

That even if we fight
That even if we fight a million times over little things
We can still make it better
I meant what I said when I gave you that promise ring
That Ima love you forever
I fall for you deeper everyday
Feel it now girl more than ever
But with our type of love
Forever aint enough

Love, Before Dawn.

2010-07-23T22:58:00.007+08:00

everyone is growing up and slowly, I am starting to see differences.
maybe it is stress, time differences, people we hold differently near to our hearts,
after reading Summer's Desire, I realized there are extremists out there like me.
Luo Xi- someone who would never ever believed people would go out (even through hell) for him, after being abandoned. Same too. I never believed and recent happenings just kinda proved itself? haha, till now, I nvr met someone who make me feel that "I am his everything" or "you are important to me as a friend" Sad huh. But unlike Luo Xi, I will believe, believe in this certain someone...we might not walked to eternity, but at least now, and for the time we have till we walked our separate paths, we are different no doubt, BUT... I might be left w no friends, nothing after this but just for this once, ♥

Now its so cold
Frozen from my forehead to my little toe
Everyday was like a lifetime, it was so slow
Only heavens knows, where my angel go
It was so hard
Waking up and trying make a new start
Everyday living was a painful part
Another day in a life of a broken heart

And then you came in my darkest moment
When the sun was the lowest
Girl you came and lift me up
And took the weight of my shoulder
The wait is now over and gone
You see, my darkest moment seem to have to come before dawn

Autumn's desire

2010-07-20T23:21:00.003+08:00

I always thought Summer's Desire was another typical show that the actors will just act cool while the actress will just be another beautiful rich girl. However I got drawn into the individual actors & actress's acting :')

Luo Xi- The famous actor yet filled w insecurities from the past. True, his love one is w him right now but it could disappear easily, even might be right after he just finished the biscuit or with a blink of eye. His description was so apt that it felt that, there there he is...someone exactly like me.

Of Bakerzin & neoprint machine

2010-07-18T14:25:00.013+08:00

Oh haiii. I met up with my secondary mates last friday & ho, presenting to you, my beautiful mates! haha, changed to photobucket as picture host, & WTH they are blown up so damn big, hahaahahahah. Sorry if I hurt your eyes, just pretend you can't see me. See, that's why I feel so inferior because THEY ARE ALL SO PRETTAYEEE. ohmygod. fmlfmlfml.

I have absolute no idea why this is so blown up hahahaha & fmyroundface. Wished I could censor myself out grrrrr.

haha okay I will think twice of using photobucket as a picture host! Off to continue uploading on FB suchaa bitch, I had been uploading for over an hour.
k! BYE!

-

Edit:// haha I resized them, now just look like normal pictures ah! Ahhh, whatever! It's monday tmr :(

I AM A BIG ANT NOW!

2010-07-03T23:43:00.005+08:00

We just have to get up and keep walking, because this isn't some teenage love movie, or the Cinderella story. This is real life. So pick yourself up and move on. This is reality, life goes on even if you're not with the people you wanted to take with you (Insomniaaa.tumblr.com)

The above is sooo true that I can't help but take it as tonight's quote. Sad for a birthday post but too good to be true. The day passed like any other day, π and I caught a movie (Day & Knight) and I slept most of the day away. Rather anti-climax but just the way I liked it. Was rather drained this week and it did not help that some intern lost control and said some stuffs which left me crying. But no more to that stress-intolerant freak, I will not scope as low as him.

Thanks so much for everyone's well-wishes and presents though. Disabled my facebook wall because I don't want anyone to leave down wall messages after seeing others left them (not that I will get a lot BUT...you get the point). In the end, those who knew and cared, knew and cared :)

Thanks Angie for the surprise present (touched till wanna cryyy), Yeeting for the drawing book and the mysterious necklace AND a cake ( the only cake I have this year!) & Nat for the ring. It is not a big celebration but they are 3 different individuals that I met through work who took time off to buy me a present (without any pior signs they will be doing so) THANK YOU THANK YOU :')

Thanks the girls for the multi-racial outfit and beach time soon! :D

Thanks everyone for the messages! Now I have well-wishes from local and overseas! :) How sweet, that's good enough and precious than any other thing. Special thanks to Shannon who sent me a card :'))) god knows how she managed to post it while moving to a new house!

k I managed to pick up the book I reserved at the library today! gna start on it and sleep early! gna reply everybody tmr! cheers!

A toast to the past.

2010-06-30T23:08:00.005+08:00

Had opened up hotmail and wanted to write a short note to one of my friend, but after reading her blog, I guess there is no need to. Things are better now, although to be honest, a lot of things had been running through my head. Not entirely are they all related but everything happens to fall on this week - work, birthdays & every other possibly could go wrong matters (all gone wrong)...stressful indeed.

felt so stuffy recently, could almost feel a cough coming up. yet when my head was clouded w one matter, another came into my head. can you believe today, today, my boss actually offered me a job offer? And the thing is, I gave a whoa-what-the-shit-is-this-this-is-totally-the-least-of-my-concern-right-now-but-I-am-still-v-grateful-but-are-you-sure-about-this expression. & I told him I will think about it. & almost today I feel soooo stressed because everyone was like you are leaving soon and...sighhh. Choices choices choices. and plus vents & rants on twitter.

& to be honest, one friend told me something before and it had been bugging me for a long long time, up till today. "That's not a friend". This line had been bugging me for v long, but tonight after thinking through, on the bus to meet Soktheng, I kinda thought it through.

The 4 of us might be very different, in terms of characteristics. But we all had different groups of friends, in terms of age and character. If we were to find someone similar to us, wouldn't it be like finding another one of yourself and you wouldn't know where you gone wrong? Friends sometimes could be the one pointing out your flaws or helping you at the most crucial point...and I know they all did, being a v impt pillar of support in one point of time or other.

Perhaps as we grew older, temper are harder to control due to work, pressure etc, BUT if this is a friendship I want to hold on to, I will and is willing to learn to be more understanding of each otherand will definitely try my utmost best to keep it intact. Beside everyone is different and special in their own way so hopefully next time I will keep that in mind & be a better & more understanding friend!

whatever it is, it is over now. I am gna rest well tonight and tmr on the long journey home, gna think long and hard about my future.

So I would like to say sorry to this particular friend. I had some fault at this matter and well, I think I finally realize that perhaps the start of this matter is because everyone just want the best & everything to be perfect for each other simply because we are friends :)

So, PS ...also to this friend:

I HOPE YOU STILL LOVE ME,
GOODNIGHT KISS,*MUACKS*

Birthday Yellow, Green, Pink & Black

2010-06-27T21:58:00.005+08:00

There were so many questions in life. You couldn't ever have all the answers.
But I knew this one.
It's so she can fly,' I said. Then I started to run." -Sarah Dessen (The Truth About Forever)

-

Caught Toy Story 3 with Ying last Friday. It was funny and a little cheesy for me ( I think as a 20 yo)...but can't help laughing at the Ken & Barbie's part (It's like we are...made for each other *gasps*) HOW HILARIOUS IS THAT?! & the buzz lightyear's spanish? version HAHAHHAHA.
Nevertheless, it had been a long time since I caught a movie w Ying! I think the last movie we watched tgt was like Shrek 2 or something :( we should do this more often! :)

Gah, tmr or technically speaking this week gna be LONG. :( Tmr's erjie's birthday celebration at kbox, thursday's Ying chalet...GAHHH. Talk about knocking off super on time etc etc, must not must not MUST NOT be late omggg. feel so guilty for leaving on time plus my colleague's occasional hinting...GAH. somehow not looking forward to it! :( anyway speaking of knocking off early...LAST FRIDAY! I was mad useless...came into the office late (near 10) cause of the storm...plus I went on a 1.5hr lunch break w YT and went off super on time to watch toy story 3 FML. haha, so if it continues this week, I AM SCREWED. haha.

Created formspring because I am sooo bored, but I doubt anyone would wanna ask me anything? But I hate it because anons somehow get the courage to and ask stupid qns which will make me so pissed and I will prolly delete it right away but if nobody asks me anything, I will feel incredibly sad and bored and again prolly delete it again. Anyone wanna bet whether it will survive 1 week? haha.

ASK ME ANYTHING

Anyway, came home that day after shopping w YT & Angie and camwhore!

SHOW YOU ALL ONE PICTURE!

HOHOHO BW. I think this is not bad so I will use as my funeral picture next time k!

I wanna skip my 20th and go to 21st.
Alr have plans! :)

Happy Birthday to Mama Ant!

2010-06-20T21:29:00.003+08:00

"Who are these people sharing the street with me?
What is going on in their worlds, inside their heads? Are they in love?
If so, is it the kind that Mum and Dad have?
Based on having things in common, like raspberry picking and a love of dogs, and Shakespeare, and long country walks? Or is it the knock-you-out, eat-you-up, set-you-on-fire kind of love that I have longed for-and avoided-all my life?" -Alison Larkin ( The English American)

-

Tomorrow is my mom's birthday! haha, thank you for giving birth to me momo :')

EVERYONE, SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY or GIVE HER GIFTS IN NEOPETS, SHE IS PLAYING USING MY ACCOUNT LOL.

One more:
'That's how it works, when people really love each other,' Mum whispered..., as if she was confessing some hideous and embarrassing secret. 'But, the thing is, darling, it doesn't happen to ones who have sharp edges, or break if they get dropped, or ones made of silly synthetic stuff that doesn't last. You have to be brave and let the other person know who you are and what you feel." -Helen Fielding (Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason)

Clearly, I am a wreck

2010-06-12T23:38:00.008+08:00

Things to do:

get married & live happily ever after

一封写给偶像的信

2010-05-29T23:08:00.005+08:00

一个星期过去了，原本说演唱会那晚要把一切写下，
不过单单到了那里，感觉自己在阿祥的演唱会就想哭了。。。

阿祥常说，自己好不容易来到今天的地位。。。
也有很多人在阿祥红后爱上他。
表面上，我或许也是这样，不过你知道吗，
他其实很早就出现在我的人生，不过像个秘密情人似的，我并没有发觉。

五年纪的时候，我看了TV三剑客，那时是他跟黑人一起主持的，还有一个单元叫做你要去那里之类的。我记得有一次小猪那对要到终点时，他的队员跌倒了。他便背／抱她跑去终点。但他们还是输了。要不是关心，要队友和他一起，如果队友没跌倒，他们就是赢家。我记得当时老是忘记小猪的名字。只记得黑人和这个金色头发的。

后来有另一个节目是他和欧弟的，同样的，我也是记得欧弟。哈哈。很莫名吧？

升上中学时，他的节目停了。但是我们有订华文报。我记得那华文报的后页会放一些流行歌手的照片和主打歌的歌词。我记得有一次是 “罗志祥”，主打歌是机器娃娃。当时我在想，这名字很熟。当时也有在听广播。。。听见了小丑鱼，爱上了小丑鱼。不过当时小丑鱼不是很红，所以并没有经常播。我也不知道他的原唱者是谁。

过了两三年，罗志祥这个名字红起来了。
他说到他感谢让他红起来的人，说到他的过去。。。
我才知道原来金色头发的是他，唱小丑鱼的也是他，他叫小猪，也叫罗志祥。

很高兴原来我也有看到罗志祥的过去，

他所讲的，我可以理解。
所以这就是我喜欢他的原因。
他是那么的努力的望上冲，
或许真的看过他以前的表现和演出，
才能知道他的努力，他的用功和他所为的 “今天的一切的来不易”

如今他比我刚刚说的 “红起来” 的还要红了。。。
真的很感动我在22号的晚上看了我人生中最感动的一次表演。

谢谢你罗志祥
谢谢你那么的努力变成今天的罗志祥，
谢谢你没有被一路走来的困难绊倒
谢谢你把物法舞天带来新加坡
谢谢你到现在说什么，就做到什么
谢谢你在我人生当中最低潮时却比什么人来的可靠
谢谢你给我最大的勇气，
谢谢你我永远的偶像！罗志祥！

Mist is such a terrible thing

2010-05-26T22:44:00.004+08:00

Cancer's Secret Desire: To feel safe (emotionally, spiritually, romantically and financially)

yes, had been emo nemo these few days despite the fact that grad ended on a v high note. don't know whether am I the weirdo or PMS-ing or blurshit people just don't get it :( sigh, for a moment there, I had wished that I died on Saturday. It could have just meant I died as a v v v happy girl with her life completed at that moment.

but everything was better now. reallyreally. talking to bighead & ron :') anyway, sharing this with you, hoping you all would understand how am I really.

Those born under the sign of Cancer, ruled by the mysterious Moon, are one of the zodiac's enigmas. It is fair to say that most Cancers are a bundle of contradictions. Compassionate and caring with friends, family and lovers, yet they can cut to the bone with their jealous remarks and ever-changing moods. Endearingly eccentric on one hand, and on the other, insecure about how others see them. Like their astrological symbol - the Crab - Cancers can appear hard and insensitive on the outside. However, for those of us who know and love a "Moon Child", we understand that deep below lies a softness and sensitivity that makes them so very special...

Just as the Moon goes through many changes as it moves from its new to full phases, Cancers too go through many new and full phases of experience. Life doesn't stand still for this sign, even if they remain in one place, because they live so much in their internal oceans of emotions. Their link with the Moon often makes it impossible for them to operate on an even keel from day to day. Up and down like the proverbial yo-yo, most Cancerians feel one way one minute, then sometimes totally different the next. But this characteristic is part of their charm.

Love and romance matter more than anything else to this sign (but this occasionally shares first place with having lots of money in the bank). No other sign romances better, equally though, no sign takes it so badly when romance turns sour either. But with their changeable natures Cancerians are fascinating, mysterious, stimulating and extremely alluring. This sign is one of the most magic of all and once their magic has reached you, they are the most beguiling companions. After all, isn't the Moon the most talked about and romantic galactic identity?

Are you the one who will understand & discover my charm?

lzx, grads piccys in a bitz!

Moral of Cinderella is to not eat apples.

2010-05-13T22:58:00.006+08:00

Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn't get in, and walk through it, step by step. There's no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That's the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.

-

Today, as I am going home, I saw this woman. whose leg had a scar at around the same position as mine. but hers had a round brown crust circling it and the middle is fainter than mine. I flinched when I saw it, as though it was reminding me, I had one too. A scar from an accidental accident, something that will not be erased easily nor ever forgotten. But just as I was staring at it, I was thinking, so is this how my scar looks from the back too? Will people flinched when they see it too, wondering what happen etc etc...

work today was horrible. It had been a horrible week, I had been treating Twitter rather badly, in fact more like a venting platform. After blogging about the holidays last week, I felt better. More occupied about happy thoughts.

I ought to stop mis-using Twitter I ought to be brave and get what I want I ought to get my plans today I ought to seek the perfect dress I ought to collect my grad robe this sat I ought to get down to SIM I ought to...stay here w you :(

PS: HE IS COMING :')

PS: // Pls pls click on my ads whoever that is still reading. Rmber once it hits 50$, this space will vanish ;) ( I am only halfway through!)

Mellows

2010-05-05T23:49:00.003+08:00

“It’s so curious: one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief.
But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer…
and everything collapses.”

-

I love the picture on top ^ . It reminds me of the mornings in Australia whereby I just sat byt he beach in the morning and people were walking their dogs around. Too bad we went when I am in secondary school and I don't think I know how to appreciate other than the chance to hug and take picture with Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Sometimes, I thought I actually miss Australia. Then I realized I miss that particular morning, where I was just sitting there, looking to the sea.

I remembered Bintan. I used to go there when I am little, I remembered the service crew go anywhere with their golf club alike cars and we would ordered nasi lemak for breakfast. I remembered we had a pool infront of our villa. But the adults said that there is war there and we stopped going.

Our most frequent holiday place would be Genting. I counted and almost at every chance of sec sch holidays we would go go go. I remembered Cheryl HungHung and me going crazy at the arcade there, exchanging our yellow tickets, CS-ing, buying supper, watching movies, shopping, us being v uncomfortable in SnowWorld...

I knew Malacca too. The kokkok shoes that was once a crazy, a nonya curry thingy place at an hidden corner...but we nvr go there now.

I am very very tired and I didn't know why the sudden urge to blog about my holidays when I saw those pictures. I wanna someone to hug me to bed, right NOW. :(

TOPS & Coffeecups

2010-04-26T23:11:00.007+08:00

Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be.

-

Hi all, betcha most of you are like coming here, thinking that I prolly did not updateee again and presto, heh. Well, if you didn't realized I update, :((( haha, well, if you are still coming back despite the long "self-proclaimed" break, I thank you. I had no idea why but I just stopped coming back here for awhile.

The missing period, or so I would called it, is a period whereby I was confused. I started out on an job, and is caught in a very awkward position. I faced the harsh reality, and in a realfake environment, I learnt that in order for no one to bully you, you gotta be strong. You have to come across as straight and direct, and NOBODY would ever dare to bully you. Believing this theory, I grew stronger and at the same time, angst than ever. If you had been following @onenil, I believed you would have seen spammage of angry tweets at one go. Funny thing is, I prolly wasn't even angry. I just sounded angry. Guess this change was too big for the people around me and I had comments saying that I became more fierce, bad tempered etc. However, this week, I felt more at ease and it is all about finding my old self and striking a balance :)

Most importantly, the reason I am back is that many of my friends are going to the army. Facebook had at least one person everyday announcing it on their status and I had never felt so lost before. I mean I had classmates enlisting previously but we are not that close hence...

anyway, click the cutz if you have the time otherwise it is goodnight for now. I will be back soon, I promise :)

Yesterday, a friend came and told me he is going to be enlisting into the army. The way he struck the convo, I thought it was something serious but all he wanted to say was to ask me to takecare. It was prolly the last thing I guessed that he wanted to say given that serious tone. It is a funny feeling actually, and I guessed it was the feeling that I had when I listened to my blogsong. Nevertheless, no need to phantom what the feeling was, all I want to say is thankyou. for everything.

幸福的致命伤

2010-04-01T23:09:00.009+08:00

credit: A love story in an absolut world

爱你却从不讲幸福的致命伤
从此我只能够在部落格上
路过你快乐悲伤
你说你想飞翔所以我不阻挡
希望你能够在他的肩膀上
找到那爱的信仰
我承认有些话当时没老实讲
那么坏人就让我来当
我了解有些话现在没老实讲
明天我将失去了胆量
当你成为别人的新娘
你说你想飞翔所以我不阻挡
希望你能够在他的肩膀上
找到那爱的信仰
我承认有些话当时没老实讲
那么坏人就让我来当
我了解有些话现在没老实讲
明天我将失去了胆量
当你成为别人的新娘
我承认有些话当时若老实讲
现在就不会两败俱伤
其实爱你的心早已濒临疯狂
连我自己也无法抵抗
再也还原不了的时光

Mousse, poisonous dews and a mushroom

2010-03-17T23:04:00.003+08:00

I had been doing quite a bit of thinking lately. Mostly about the people in my life, things that had happen or is going to happen. These 2 days I've been thinking about my future, and what I really want. Monday morning had me reminded of the pain a r/s would bring, these 2 weeks I have been thinking of all the people getting their 'As', & the past month thinking about what had happen over the last 1.5 years. And yet, at the end of the day, I think I will just want a hug from someone telling me that it's alright and lots of hugs and kisses and not choices choices choices.

ramen ramen

2010-03-09T13:34:00.007+08:00

A sad story that I saw on tumblr:
A bf gave a challenge to his gf to live a day without him. No communications at all and said if she passed it. He'll love her forever. The gf agreed. She did not text or call him the whole day. without knowing that her bf has only 24 hours to live because he's suffering from cancer. She excitedly went to her bf's house the next day. Tears fall as she saw his bf lying in the coffin w/a note on the side. "You did it baby, can you do it everyday? I love you"

-

Ytd was ramen hunting w the girls. The girls was kinda tired out from a day of work/school. So it is a tour around 313 for erjie and back home we go! >:S tmrw is bugis shopping (yayyy!) with jh and ikea on friday with angielmo! howww cute! hehe :>

some belated pictures...zzz.

For all erjie fans, pay $50 to collect all 50 photos of her and get one extra special photo FREE. Comment to get the full set right nao! Limited sets available.

Sushi making on the day I ate my $10 chickenrice. ^#!*#^&@^. & before any of you goes wah, that looks nice (hehe), I burnt my mom's pot straight after -.-

and recently, everyone is asking, "oh graduate already right, what you planning to do?", "job???", "I tell you XXX got this...". I am sorry, I know all these came from purely concern but if I had an answer, I would have a job by now. I don't know what I want, and I don't want anyone to judge me with the diploma I have right now. Stupid, I know. If I told the boss that, I am earning myself a slap. Hence the fustration of my resume RIGHT NAO! GRR, and seriously, I will get a job somehow, just stop asking, I think a cat would be frustrated if its owner kept asking it to hunt for mouse in a city?! It just annoys the shit out of me! &&&...

SO PEACE OUT YO!

Dora, my fried fillet

2010-03-02T23:41:00.003+08:00

依依不舍舍不得　
地球上最浪漫的一首歌
我怕太超现实的快乐　
只是你借给我的

-

heyho effylings :> NATAS was walk walk walk, chat, eat, walk walk walk, chat, me getting lost from my uncaring partner ( >:( ), walk walk walk, chat, eat, making new friends, walk walk walk, giving out flyers, fans, and bags, walk walk walk, eat, me nearly ripping off an indian woman's head ( :( ), walk walk walk, saw masscommies, walk walk walk ...plus all the resttt. haha.

&&& I made bento sushi today LOL. piccys tmr, cause I am sleepy >:S hehe, went for a massage w erjie just now & had a $10 chicken rice, WHATTT A RIP OFF, GRR. Anywayhowey, have to look for a job, future's bleak man! hope to do freelance BUT I guess I can train by writing more here since I do not have many works under my name? :>

& chiam erjie is super overboard by saying that I copy&paste my quotes (cries*) so today no more quotes, humphfff. haha, JUST KIDDIN'. Going for ramen munching w the girls, hehe, got Ying hooked as well. Ohwell, more tmrw, effylings, sweet dreams and tuck in tight!

Tmrw, once I sort out how to blog it out,
I will.

Who can sense the euphoria I have created underground?

2010-02-20T18:01:00.011+08:00

texts in the morning,
couple seats in movies,
falling asleep on your shoulder in buses,

"2 weeks. That's all it took. 2 weeks for me to...fall in love with you."

(pictures from tumblr and quotes from Dear John and a rather wild imagination)

-

CNY saw me gulping down more chrysanthemum tea than I am supposed to,
and watching more tv than I ever had for the past CNYs,
no pictures taken, simple clothes,
winning 40 cents at blackjack over @ my aunt's place.

tmr, it will be visiting at daphy's house,
thought of opening my house for visiting too,
but nah, lost enough $ at home (can you believe it?!)

anyway,it is yet another boring Saturday, zZz.
time to wish majority of my friends are not overseas,
too bored, pls talk to me on MSN
or send me a text to save me from spamming on twitter
or losing my mind to my wild imagination,
hehe :>
for now, I shall have a nice bath &
pretend that those cramps don't exist!

The most beautiful strike. Ever.

2010-02-03T23:51:00.006+08:00

If you love someone, ask him for nothing. Don’t hold him from his destiny. Don’t keep him from going off in search of his own answers. Don’t ask him for commitment. You will know commitment is real when it is something given willingly, and not as something obligatory.

Don’t ask him for promises. If you are patient, if you have faith, you will know
in your heart when the right time for promises has come. And when that time arrives, then you will see that you have both lost nothing by setting each other free, and have instead gained a richer, fuller life, a wealth of experiences, and a stronger certainty of your
desires.

But should he not return to you, then life hasn’t cheated you because no promises were broken. Your bitterness will not last long, and you will feel thankful and blessed that at the very least, this beautiful soul has colored your life, that knowing him has already made life infinitely more meaningful. By setting a person free, you run a risk of him not returning.

But always remember that you found him beautiful precisely because he was free. People are like sunlight. You can feel their warmth, and their glow, but you can’t hold them in your hand and keep them with you forever. People choose to stay. But a choice is made more meaningful when it is made despite so many other options.

—Ala Paredes

SCATTERED

2010-02-01T11:12:00.005+08:00

So...I read a book. Called Something Borrowed.

&...there is this Reading Group Guide. & I am going to do it. & here goes.

What do you think was the real impetus behind Rachel's decision to sleep with Dex after her birthday party? Was it her desire to break out of her good girl persona? Was it about a long-standing resentment toward Darcy? Or was it both?
How do you view Dex? How would you describe Dex and Rachel's relationship? What drew them together? Did you root for them to be together? Do you think they have true love?
Is anything about Rachel & Darcy's friendship genuine? Do you believe it has changed over time? Why does Rachel defend Darcy against attacks from Ethan and Hillary? Compare and contrast Rachel's relationship with Hillary and Ethan to her friendship with Darcy
Do you think Dex and Darcy would have married if it weren't for Dex's affair with Rachel? Why did he stay with Darcy for so long?
How did Rachel's flawed self-image contribute to the dilemma that she faces? What do you see as her greatest weakness?
Was Rachel's moral dilemma made easier because of Darcy's personality? Would she have acted on her attraction to Dex if Darcy were a different kind of person and friend? If Rachel had fallen in love with Julian, would she have pursued the same course of action? How did Rachel rationalize her affair with Dex?
What risks was Rachel take when she pursues her relationship with Dex? What is the biggest moment of risk for her? How does Rachel grow and change in the novel?
Disloyalty is a major theme in this novel. How differently do men and women view cheating on a friend? Why is Darcy so indignant when she catches Dex and Rachel together when she has been having affair on her own?
Under what circumstances is it justified to choose love over friendship? How important is it for women to stick together? Have you ever been in a friendship like Darcy and Rachel?

Click the clickey for my answers and I promise to update again real soon!

To be very honest, I think it is just that she loves Dex. Just that.
Hmm, at first I thought Dex was rather wishy-washy. & how could you marry someone when you all "had been together for a long time". I think Dex & Rachel had just a complicated r/s, like best friends but nvr thought of gg together? I didn't exactly look forward to them being tgt and well, yes to the true love part :')
I think Darcy is the "typical girl" if you are in a girl's clique. Nasty yet popular. They are everywhere and yes, though nasty yet loyal. (& I am not gna do the whole comparison thingy but there are people who are like Rachel who fits in just everywhere?)
Well, to me, adults get married when they are of a certain age. Beside, they are together for so long but I have a feeling they will still end up divorced somehow (cause of Darcy's character?)
It is like she was sure that Dex DO NOT LOVE Darcy but yet of her low self-esteem, she didn't dare to talk it out to him. But then again, Rachel is being plain old Rachel. If she isn't like that, maybe Dex wouldn't have been with Darcy in the first place?
Whoa, this is a little hard (winces). I am sure Rachel would feel more guilty if Darcy was a different person, that's for sure. In the end, she just kept on thinking she met Dex first (which I was kinda disappointed) but then hey, she just got lucky in the end. About the Julian's part, I had totally no idea.
To Darcy, she might have changed from a goody-good-girl to a slut. But to me, she just changed from soft-spoken to kinda brave I guess.
Sadly, I think that's the difference between a guy & girl. Boys fight it out, girls? They can't talk it out. Girls often lose their friends through gossiping about each other, but once you see through it, everyone will make a comment about you no matter what, so xi guan jiu hao?!
Luckily for me, I do not have a friend like Darcy but I have a few others who reminded me of her (*WINCES*) I had never chosen love over friendship because I simply do not think that under any normal circumstances, it is alright to snatch your best friend's boyfriend, as simple as that.

Kay, that's all. Sorry to make you all read this complicated and weird Q&A but it is mostly for my benefit and I am off to read Something Blue (the continuation from Darcy's PIV). FML.

In the name of Justice

2010-01-24T00:36:00.008+08:00

Am back home after S's wedding dinner, with legs aching but can't help but say,

"OMG SO FREAKING ANGRY!"

I was taking the train back home just now and this group of 4 teenagers was near me. The girl that was sitting beside me suggested to take a picture of a China couple (the girl was sleeping on the guy's lap, asleep) and wanted to put on STOMP. Her friends actually encouaged her and one of the guy in that group actually took a picture with his handphone camera.

I was just thinking today whether the pictures on STOMP is considered an invasion of privacy. I meant nobody would like it if your picture/video appeared on the net and was circulated around and mocked at. If it was for certain matters that are point-worthy of discussion, fine. What if it was used to ridicule others? I saw once that someone took a picture of an old granny eating on the train...what if it happens to be someone's grandma, who prolly didn't have Internet access and didn't know that her picture of her eating on the train was viewed by XXX number of people in the virtual world? What if one day YOU log in to STOMP and see a picture of your grandma eating on the train?

Of course, people would say, "Those people should behave themselves then". Right, I am soooo angry because the girl said words such as "please go back to your own country" and "get a room". The poor China girl was so sound asleep, I mean if they had a long journey and there wasn't enough seats, she might have been really exhausted or even sick and thus fell asleep while sitting on her boyfriend's seat! What was even more disturbing is that her group of friends even encourage her for it. So now the question is, Is that the purpose of STOMP for teenagers nowadays?!

Personally, I felt that the girl was a little overboard because she could have kept her comments to herself and she still shouldn't have taken the picture just to ridicule the poor couple.

I will be keeping a watch on STOMP during these 2 weeks. If the photo really did appear, now we know which avid STOMPER posted it up, don't we?

Jennifer & Nicole

2010-01-06T22:15:00.007+08:00

Thus, the witch of the Middle Ages was no more than a clever chemist,
though she encouraged false attributions of demonic power in order
to create an aura of omnipotence.

-

fell sick and end up with 2 days MC. have to report back to work tomorrow. not really a nice feeling since we have to report back to work on SATURDAY to spring clean. gotten back my report grade when it is so close to the end. yes, I am counting down already. but first, there is Shannon Sharon Rolling Watermelon's wedding. & I am feeling very vexed about the dress because of blahblah and I am too fat to fit into everything nice. thus, resolution 3 of 2010: slim down my tummy!

& because of the flu gahgahagha, I missed the outings with the girls & I bet there are tons of followups to do at work, nevertheless, I am glad to have a 2 days rest :) girls, we shall go out another time okay! :D

but as internship is coming to an end, I can't help but feel vexed as well. Uni or work? with my grades & financial status, I have to work first. But then what? MCM again? what else can I study? convert to something else? I don't know, I really don't.

Guide me back to the proper road again, will ya ):

hello.

2010-01-01T22:32:00.007+08:00

maybe it just means that the clown is not meant for the entertainer.

-

just caught sherlock.holmes with M at WM just now. brilliant, I would say. maths, science, physics and a little history, ahhh, I love detective genre bits of shit. more movies of such genres plz?

on the first day of 2010, today seems a little...boring. as though 2010 had not come yet, as though it was still 2009 still. I wonder, what marks the new beginning? the colourful fireworks, shouts & cheers, alcohol and hugs, or ourselves?

resolutions. how many would stick to that? & what would 2010 holds for you, you & you little sherlockies out there? 2010 would meant that we are moving to the BIG 2, and I hope that means more exciting things plus the responsibility of bills and dollars that I am holding now.

I had a brilliant 2009, and I hope you had too. & now, it is time to move on.

till next time, my little sherlockies friends out there.

Baby, sing that song to me

2009-12-20T23:01:00.004+08:00

Since you went away, my heart breaks everyday
You don't know cos you're not there
You simply found the words to make
A lot of feelings fade away
Only you know me

-

time will never tell, so many hearts got broken this Christmas. Wonder how many got theirs broken tonight? One of a few years, yet it got broken as though it was a r/s of a few days? some were happy, some were upset. Insecurities, who could get rid of that?

WICKED

2009-12-13T18:30:00.010+08:00

everybody wants happiness,
nobody wants pain.
But you can't have a rainbow
without a little rain

-

hoho, have a merry christmas in advance everyone :)

arent the above disney beautiful? hehe...I am starting to like the weirdest thing, HMMM.

Anyway, mondays to fridays were pretty much the same. work work work. I had a list initially but I kinda forgotten what I did. (oops) guess that explains how difficult it is for me to do my monthly log huh. alas, christmas is coming and the office of ADD had been rather rowdy with so many hoteliers/suppliers providing us cakes and gifts for our company D&D! just last week, Oriental came with such a huge ham that put their skinny twins in supermarkets to shame!

haha, I am crazy. if you thought that's all, we still have fruitcake from MeritusM and logcake from MarinaM somewhere in the fridge, GAH. haha. if you thought that's the end, I just had buffet at YUKIYAKI@MarinaSquare w M last Sunday. An impromptu trip which ends up with no pictures whatsoever. & we had steamboat today, cause it is hung hung's birthday! :)
& I am meeting up with the girls this week for some meatballs lovin! haha, the next person who says I am thin shall get a slap from me alright! anyway somewhere in this week, I had the tastiest ramen & miso soup from ORCHARDION!

sales everywhere is keeping me crazy and lots of random stuffs just kept poppin up! T.T
like how yesterday night an unknown number called at 3AM and woke me up. Humphfff. and like how my most exp online purchase just got lost and might be at the post office now. Note: MIGHT. GAH.

anyway I am just gna sit here and eat myself silly till Christmas but! before that, it was many gifts & cards to make! I hope I managed to post them out in time and hopes the receiver loves it alright. & omg, I am racking my brains out for a present for M! maybe I should just get him an evil princess instead (chuckle*)

Click the cut for more princesses! (credits to jeftoon01 and subcredit to jarrel whom I found him through his tumblr. not sure whether it is good to release his blog add here since I followed the link through twitter so those who knows know!)

Ant's favourite!

2009-12-03T23:16:00.004+08:00

150.

Who's that yummy boy in green? :)

Scary tales

2009-11-28T23:20:00.015+08:00

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

-

Hey ho hey, how is my ninjas out there doing? *shoots cucumber slices*

sadly, I am supposed to cough out a thousand word crap for my interim report and I am here, searching for some inspiration. I do not fancy a thousand word of formal crap, nor do I want it to seem like a blogpost >:(

had been rather busy recently.. granduncle had been admitted into the hosp and how it happens, I rather not tell the tale again. so glad that thursday is my OFF day and been out with M to watch ninja assassin (rest assured it is definitely not because of Rain -.-) but heard from M that his body is like 0% fats?! That's really cool though. LOL. but then again, this means that there aren't anymore OFF days all the way till the end of the internship!

GAH. but I won't complain, at least for now.

so...what's happening at ADD recently? well, we celebrated Jennifer's birthday and went through Shannon Sharon rolling watermelon's last day :') one line from my interim report, "So on 1st September, I begun my internship much earlier than the rest of the mass commers and on the first day, upon reaching the office, these are the faces that greeted me."

From left to right: W, Ninja Angie, YT & Shannon.

S was really somebody whom I was very glad I met during my internship. however sadly the fate of those who really understand me had a tendency to leave this country (haha). She is gna be a happy bride this coming jan 2010 and then she would be a new zealander, how awesome is that! haha! I am invited to her wedding and well, really honoured to be part of her important moment :)

it seems that I am very very much pre-occupied w work but...am holding back a few statements about ADD and people at ADD but in general, very happy to be a thye-honger. :) friction and hard work no doubt, but at least I learnt something.

been thinking after reading other people's blogs. december last year, december 2009 is coming. one year. 365 days. how much had we gone through, only we ourselves will truly know. somethings that seem worth a pledge of lifetime waiting might not seem as important after you truly sees a person's true character. somethings came tumbled upon when you least expect it. I am still exploring that somethings and I guess there are much more unexpected somethings lurking around. ohwell.

doesn't this looks lovely? exactly like deathperation flames. haha, I doubt you understand what I am saying. sometimes I think I am weird or I am just normal with the weirdest humor ever.

and hor, before I ends this, CLICK ON MY ADS PLSXZXZXZX, fellas ninjas, kay off to finish my interim report. *poof*

2009-11-14T19:50:00.007+08:00

“Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do, give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks, you got to fight like hell to make sure you’re still alive. Because you are. And that pain you feel? That’s life. The confusion and fear? That’s there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better, and that something is worth fighting for.”

-

I just love one tree hill quotes. I had never seen one episode of that show, but I heard its awesome! haha, I tried to watch it previously but unfortunately, it had reached season 7 now and I am afraid I am way too behind. So now, I will just have to make use of random quotes posted by people over the web.

I am sorry if the pictures in my previous post is all cranked up. I had no idea why I am all fashion gaga all of a sudden, I even think killer heels is way gorgeous now, and now now, what's wrong with me?! Maybe it is the invitation to S's wedding, maybe it is because I might be sitting together with my colleagues at one table and I had no idea what to wear to attend it! Afterall, the last wedding I attended was when I was in Pirmary 5! Gosh, plus, sitting with the company people...*winces*

ohwell. this week had been rather fulfilling. Did some closing (for the event) and I really hopes the event is really closed for now. left the commission to settle, and SIGH, I could be the worst person on earth to deal w numbers, seriously.

However, I had 2 pending off days and I claim one day to eat lunch w bro (GL) yesterday as it was his birthday last Thursday! haha, I kinda forgot about it and being guilty-conscious me, I treat him to pastamania. after that, as M was at home, I went to look for him. It had been a week since I met him and I miss him lots :( but we are gg out for dinner tomorrow. SO. LOOKING. FORWARD.

Anyway speaking of this week, Monday was pretty awesome. headed to town w colleagues after delivering some goods, and wahooo, did a $5 manicure and had turkish food. Damon joined us and I am really glad to see him doing fine! See you at S's wedding, buddy!

haha, we are still fighting on his last day.

while I love love my ah xiang [ :) ], I have to admit, auntumn's concerto is so so so much nicer. :') vanness as a dad is so charming and w the kiddo, hoho. too cute too cute.

ending off w a picture of myself in case anyone is missing me. =P

Chill pill & have a good weekend earthlings!!!

As told by Abberton himself

2009-11-08T22:47:00.006+08:00

credits: yahoo games

Wouldn't it be nice if all these pieces/models comes to life?

-
I love the name Abberton ohsosuddenly.

Will you give me a call when you reach home?

2009-11-08T00:08:00.003+08:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

-

To think a few months ago, I was bent on leaving this little town. Nothing could hold me back, I was all ready to leave, other than plans to leave, it was still plans and more plans and even more plans to leave.

No one saw the intention, for I had it well-hidden. A form of escapism nonetheless, a brand new start, in a foreign land. Fear struck me, for I will be all alone, even though everyone knew talk was bullshit. I did not knew who believes in me and my silly little plans but I talked seriously enough to all who choose to listen.

& now, it was the inverse. My buoy of insecurity settled amidst the storm that might be raging outside yet I am safe. Everywhere now that I go, people asked me about my plans to leave.

"Great you have such thoughts", "So how", " I think it is a rather good opportunity".

Why? Why hadn't all this came earlier? Talking about leaving, well, it is not even funny now.